Somehow I have always known that I was adopted,
even though I don't recall being sat down and told that.
After having a son, my parents were unable to concieve anymore children,
when he was seven, they adopted me.
I was 2 weeks old, when I was taken into their home
to live the life of an average child, with good parents.
I can remember always thinking about my birthmother
and wanting to find her.
So many things I wondered.
Did she ever think about me? What does she look like?
Do I look like her? Do I have any brothers or sisters?
Do they know about me? Why was I given up?
Would my questions ever be answered?
So many emotions came with the questions, which caused a personal struggle.
I began searching for my birthmom when I was about 16.
My parents were supportive in helping.
My first attempts led me nowhere,
I had very little information to work with.
By my 18th birthday I was hard at work searching.
I was able to get some nonidentifying information,
but the letters I sent to the agency where I was adopted
never got me anywhere.
The next ten years brought nothing but dead ends,
as I searched on and off.
After giving birth to my beautiful daughter
all the old emotions came flooding back
hitting me with all their force.
With new resolve, I began my search anew.
Using the internet for information, I was able to get involved
in a mailing list. There I was given a lead to contact,
a lady at the agency who was conducting searches.
Contacting her immediately, it wasn't long,
before I found myself face to face with her,
notarizing a request to begin a search for my Mom,
and also to pay a fee. Nothing would be free,
but it was worth a million dollars to me if she was successful.
Wanting so much to find my Mom led to some
real tough emotional times for me.
It was then while involved in counseling,
with a very dear lady, Dellie, that through her encouragement,
I was brought back onto the path of having a relationship with God.
Along the way I also had alot of support from my husband,
and some great friends. There was some deep support from
Jewel among Jewels, a support group for adoptees.
From that group has come some very endearing friendships.
I encourage adoptees to be involved in a support group like Jewels.
After being involved in counseling, our family found a church,
spiritually we were growing, and things were getting better.
Many wonderful people entered my life,
that were a source of encouragement to me.
And as these people grew close to me, I made them aware
of my desire to find my Mom.
Their encouragement convinced me to turn my search over to God,
and let him take complete control.
The request had been filed with the agency to do the search,
I had made some calls, and now it was time to put this all in God's hands.
I got on my knees, and prayed.
I never expected what was to come!